Randomly Things About You

Some of you might be heard about this guy few years ago. I was dating with him in early 2008. I was stupid and fun and careless about anything, and I was madly in love with him. I did lots of dumb things, broke up with him is also one of the dumb thing I ever did. So, okay, I always give a nickname for every single person that I wrote here. Umm... Wait, I'm trying to give him a silly nickname but the last time I tweeted about him I called him as an "Angel", it's kinda difficult to give him a silly name cause I used to call him "ndud" or "jelek" which means fatty or ugly lol. He's not fatty nor ugly actually... He's more like you know "my type". Gosh! Let me call him Ndud, it's described him enough for me.

Well, I called him an Angel once because for the past like five or maybe six years, whenever I need someone to talk, I mean like talk about serious and secret things, he apparently showed in any way like text, phone calls, or showed up in front of me and simply asked "hey, are you okay?" and it's just... Weird. You know like he knows. And, he's the man who I can be weird, silly, and fun with. He's also the only person who I can't stand not to show up what's really happened on me. I could cry in front of him and tell exactly what I feel without any worries that he'll ignore me or let my self down. I couldn't do that with any other man. Maybe it's because I've been known him for a quite long time and I always feels comfortable with him...

Right now, Ndud is a mature version of Ndud in the five years ago. Even we was growing apart, thank God, he grows as a man in my dream. Okay I know it's sounds like a drama but hey, I never thought he could be exactly like the one in my dream! Short story, I could be a great producer one day anyway (omg I cut my own story! Isn't a sign that I became a lazy writer?)

Well, thank God we met again. We both changed. He seems better now and he thinks the same about me. After short precious meeting, we decided to date. Again. And this one is a LDR. Huff. Harder isn't?

Do you know what makes it different? Let me tell you this secret.

I'm a dreamer, I spend time before sleep wondering beautiful things that might be happens in life. I'm also love daydreaming whenever I get tired or having a free time. I usually imagine stuffs like newest gadget, city cars, long holidays, shopping, or stupid things like what it feels to live in a game. I imagined what it feels to be a main character in a harvest moon, GTA (ouch this one is more like myself driving in a real world), or in any dramas. I never imagined stuff like marriage before because I always think I'm 14 not 24 LOL!! And for the first time in my life, I imagined what it feels like to have him as my partner or husband and started living together as a couple, I imagined stuffs like make a breakfast for him, give him massage after a hard day at work, you know imagined little things that we could do together like solving our problems together. And the weirdest is I'm also imagined how it feels like to have a baby from him! I think I'm going mad or something.

Things are pretty hard when it comes to a LDR with so many limitations, especially when we have to describe things that should be shown. He asked me to tell him a nice things about us and I didn't say any. Whenever he asked me what makes me love him, I didn't answer it. It just... I didn't mean to leave it blank. I just don't know the answer. I have no idea why I'm in love with him, I just know that he's the only person I want so bad right now like I really want to hug him really tight and won't let him go again... Ever.

So, Ndud, if you read this (I bet you're not going to do it in a short amount of time since you busy with your work, your side jobs, and exams AND you're too tired and now SICK), I want you to know that I'm in love with you but just don't ask me why cause being in love with you is the hardest thing to describe. I always said that I don't like to tell you why I like you cause sometimes even if we had a fight, you're the one who can make me feel needed. And Ndud, I don't wanna lose you anymore, it's hurt to grow apart from you...

I know I'm asking you too much but these LDR things is killing me! I'm dying to meet you again :( We both suffering from this LDR lol but again, baby please be patient with me... We promised to take any risks and try our best to do this. I know we can get through this and be together one day. I believe in us and YOU...

Xxxxxoxxxoxo
-db-